The Blackness

Lungs pushed until even breathing is too hard, my mind reels. But that’s normal.

The blackness swirls in my thoughts and consumes everything, until I give in to the feeling of loss that I’ve earned. I deserve it, I think.

It’s a square room of dread where I can’t see around or under anything, the walls are dark and foreboding.

It’s a black whirlpool, one where swimming is impossible–I’m sucked down, down, down, into its unforgiving depths

It makes my heart fill with a weight so heavy, I think I’ll sink.

Continue reading


To Germany!

To those of you out there who don’t know already, in the late months of last year, I applied for a Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange Scholarship through a company called Youth for Understanding. What that basically means is that, if I was chosen, I would receive a scholarship which would enable me to live abroad and study at a German high school for the next school year. (For free.) I had an interview at the beginning of the year. Earlier this month, I received an email saying I am accepted to the program! Since then, there have been a whirlwind of papers to fill out, forms to send, and documents to sign. I have two orientations to go to, one in June and one in July. Only two more months and I will be on my way to Germany! And as I write that, I am thinking to myself, “That is not a very long time from now!”

Pretty soon I’ll have to start packing! Continue reading

2013 Resolutions!!!

So, as cliché as it is, I’m making a New Year’s Resolution. Last year’s didn’t really pan out very well, so I’ve decided to reach for something a little more achievable. Drumroll please!

I’m going vegetarian! (Seems like a popular craze)

I just feel so bad about eating a dead animal. I mean, a ham and cheese sandwich tastes AMAZING, but… I’m trying to change. I’m going to have a healthier lifestyle. And I know, I could be healthy AND eat meat, but I don’t want to.

I already exercise for an hour and a half every day after school, so I’ve given myself a leg up on being healthy already. Plus, I attempted last year to be vegetarian and it lasted about 2 weeks at most. I’m hoping this lasts all year. Yep. all 365 days of 2013! I believe in myself, so I can do it.

What’s different from my last attempt at being a vegetarian is that I really had no planning involved. This time, I’ve looked up how many calories I need to consume, how much protein, calcium, zinc, and other vitamins I need and the foods that would correspond with each category, and I made a list. I figured out how many calories I need to intake in order to lose fat, even. I calculated how many calories from fat I need, calories from protein, and calories from carbohydrates I need.

This may seem a little obsessive, but I really want to give this a chance. I want to actually complete my resolution. Last year, it seems like they were unreachable. I mean really, talking like Shakespeare? Reading ninety books? Ok, I could have done the abs thing, but not really.

This year I’ll complete it! And I’ll like it. Wish me luck!

The End.

ThAnKs FoR rEaDiNg!

–LinLaB7 🙂